I know I haven't been writing much lately and for that I apologize. A lot of stuff has been happening in my life. Right now it seems like I'm tight-rope walking a line between fear and excitement. I'm going to try and explain but who knows how this will come out. Let's start with a praise... God is good. He has blessed me with a tremendous offer for an opportunity I'm well qualified for and eager to accept. I have been offered an internship with the ministry organization I serve currently. Note that I did not state the name of this organization because officially I am just applying for the internship. But, because of my situation I have reasons to believe comfortably that I will be graciously accepted. This is not only a massive answer to my personal prayers and hopes of the last several years, but also a door opening to a wonderful future in youth ministry. This is a large part of my excitement. I will be in Germany for at least a year serving this mission. I have become very attached to the Middle School kids that attend our group. Here's a small insight as to what fun situations provide for my attachment: For Valentine's Day, we had "Man Day." We were meeting for guys Bible study as is a regular weekly activity, yet this day was special. We began by BBQing chicken and hot dogs for the guys and of course no utensils were necessary. Simultaneously, we played frisbee and passed a football around. Then after that bit of excitement we went inside and wrestled, talked about what being a Godly man is about, and also played a couple games with finger rockets (foam darts you can propel at other people). As a gesture of our manlyhood we invited the girls Bible study group to play with us. This was a lot of fun and the girls had a blast as well. Events like this bring relationships closer as if we were at camp. To read about what happens at camp look for my post about Escape. Ok now for a not as exciting but scared part.... As I am slowly but surely going where God and I want to be, I realize that I'm growing up. This might seem funny, and it is, but it's also frightening. The biggest issue I have been struggling in leu of this promotion is my desire for a family. I'm 22 and most people I know are married or engaged. I work at a center with kids under 5, I volunteer with Middle school and High school kids. I'm tired of watching bad parenting. How hard is it to love your own flesh and blood? I really desire to have a family. It's huge to me right now. Yet, I don't even have a girl friend. Being in Europe makes this extremely because German girls and army women make up 96% of the female populus and neither are appealing. This is not to say I couldn't date one of them but I want a Christian woman, younger (hopefully), and one that's willing to be a minister's wife. Then she's got another list of my own pickyness to survive...I know I'm screwed. So basically it's not looking good for at least a couple months and that is more likely to be a year. I won't say that I don't have interest in anyone right now, but I know that it will be a while before I can even think of persueing any could-be options. Now back to what God is doing to bless me in this situation: My walk with God has been AMAZING lately. My quiet times and my time in the word have been blessed beyond comprehension. Most of the stuff I'm caught up in revolves around my ministry with the middle schoolers. I am in love with my youth group. For instance: 1Thessalonians 2:8 8We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. My group has become dear to me. I spend my free time hoping for kids to return because I haven't seen them in forever. I search for help to keep the group supported (I'll address this later). I put everything that I am into loving these kids because I want them to know God and the glory of His resurrection. I know that I do not make or break God's will for this program, but I recognize that he has called me and positioned me specifically for this ministry. Now for a compromise of good and trouble (Job 2:10): So as we all know one man cannot provide a ministry alone; to properly provide a youth program (without risk of death) he needs staff and volunteers. Well, currently we have amazing volunteers and amazing staff. I'm slowly but surely moving into the lead role (humbly so) and yet I'm torn. The Grahams, Brian and Rochelle, are an answer to prayer and have been a huge support for me. There are not a lot of people here my age and having similar interests. However, these guys have been family to me. Listen to this...haha...one weekend I came by on a friday just to play video games with Brian; I was supposed to leave that night...haha...I stayed till Sunday! They not only fed me and clothed me, but they made me feel like I was at home. I wasn't overstaying my welcome, we were enjoying each other's company. It wasn't the last time I would stay for the weekend. Several other occasions we have gone to movies, discussed the ministry, enjoyed the ministry*, and had plain simple fun. The * is there because Rochelle has been my counterpart since we had been left the ministry by the Stagers last summer. Brian has stayed over on guy's all nighters and Bible studies countless times. They are a gift from God and I'm blessed. HOWEVER, Brian is in the military and will be ETSing (getting out of the military) and moving back to the states. This is sad. Also... The Creiglow family has been a tremendous blessing in the past months. I have been able to attend their homegoroup and Keith has become one of my best friends. We talk about everything from girl problems to video games. Likewise I have spent several weekends with Keith while Leah (his wife) was away. And yet recently I have been spending my time helping Keith and Leah pack up to move. The are transitioning to Kuwait...sadness. Third time is a charm... Michael Fritz is a reservist from Montgomery, Alabama. He has been volunteering with the middle school group and co-teaching with me since the Stagers left. We too have had fun experiences and respectively built what I hope to be a lifelong friendship. He finishes his tour at the end of March. More sadness... And to show that God is still good (there are numerous factors but this one follows suit)... Doug Riddle, a friend I have known for almost a year now, recently returned to fill the Stager's old position as the lead youth pastor. With everyone leaving it makes sense that God would fill "the gap." Already things are looking good and I know that the youth group will be blessed for his coming. I will write more on the future of the youth group when it happens. Ok I've written a lot so far but there is more...hehe...so I'm going to post this and continue to type. Now before I go on with stuff affecting me directly I want to offer up a prayer request. Anna Cutter is in 7th grade and her parents attended the Creiglow homegroup with me. They are wonderful people with a caring heart for the Lord. They have been praying for their daughter to find a nitch in a youth group somewhere and I think that our group might be the place for her. I've met her and she seems to like me so I'm going to see if we can get her to come Ok nevermind for now I'm pooped. I'll write more to this soon. And by soon I mean tomorrow...maybe Monday. | 
